Difficult person here means that he’s getting on your nerve, for whatever reasons. It could be his fault, it could be your fault, it could be everybody’s fault. Or it could be actually nobody’s fault. It could be that he and you are simply not supposed to get along.
Lately, I have been dealing with a difficult co-worker. I don’t think he does it on purpose to annoy me. It’s just his nature. Or maybe I was expecting different. Our vibes are simply not compatible to each other.
Everytime I feel annoyed by him (or anyone else in that matter), this is what I do:
- Keep calm. Take a walk or drink tea or do whatever to keep your calm and free your mind.
- Avoid contact with him in that very minute I get annoyed by him. By avoiding him, I reduce the risk to say something stupid, something that could be used against me later.
- Try to figure out if it is personal by getting to know him, why he does what he does. See if he’s doing it only to you or to everybody. The latter is my case. I’m sure of that. Maybe anyone else is not as much annoyed as I am. I So I just keep thinking it’s nothing personal. In two hours or so it’s going to be alright again.
- Since this happens at work, I keep it professional. I don’t conduct conversations about my personal and private life with him. If not about work, I keep it to the weather-is-nice-today level.
It works most of the time. I don’t have a hard feeling towards him afterwards, because I know it’s not personal and I just have to accept the way he is.
It is a big problem, if it happens on a personal level, such as a friend, family member, or even your girlfriend/boyfriend. The first two methods mentioned above are still true. After that, having a deep and honest conversation helps a lot. Talk about your feelings. Ask how she feels. Explain to her why you are annoyed by her words or actions. Maybe she does it on purpose. Maybe she doesn’t know it. Maybe you are annoying, too.
At the end of the day, we want to be surrounded by the people whom we love, and who love us the way we are. If you constantly get annoyed by the same person, it’s time to look back and think. Decisions have to be made. In the worst case, you cut the ties with that person. It could both hurt and be relieving. But it’s for the best, and it will only get better.
